


Of Light and Darkness

by Mikhail



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Character Death, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Violence, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 22:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20590076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikhail/pseuds/Mikhail
Summary: They say that the brightest light casts the darkest shadows. With the Traveler up in the sky and the Darkness closing in, the Light and the Dark are no longer a metaphor and the line between the two is no longer clear. Be careful, Guardian, for you now thread on a dangerous path.---Spoilers for Curse of Osiris, Warmind, Forsaken and Season of the Drifter.





	1. The Light

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in English, and even though I tried hard and used pretty much every automated spellchecker and grammar fixing tool available, I'm sure there will be a lot of mistakes. Please feel free to pinpoint anything that seems wrong, especially recurring cases, I only have one request: be gentle.

“There is always something relaxing about Warlocks. Keen to learn, to understand and to achieve at least a little bit of wisdom.” That’s what Ikora kept saying. Garret-12 liked that idea enough to choose a Warlock path in his new life as a Guardian. But nothing was relaxing about the Exo now. In a hurry and clearly pissed, people steered out of his way as he searched the Tower for one particular Hunter. 

Vanguard sent Irwin Arde to Mercury almost a month ago. Skilled Hunter was needed for the reconnaissance of the Infinite Forest. Were the legends and spreading rumours even true? Did it exist at all? Turns out it did, and it held way more secrets than anyone could’ve known. Reconnaissance turned into a rescue mission after shell of a Ghost was found. Garret didn’t understand at first; if the Ghost was dead, surely so was its Guardian. 

Then it woke up, hijacked Irwin’s Ghost, and talked. About Osiris. Warlock Vanguard before Ikora, thought lost to the secrets of the Vex. As Sagira, Osiris’ Ghost, said, her Guardian was still alive and trapped inside Infinite Forest. What’s more, he found there a threat to all humanity, to the Traveler and the Light. Of course, with Sagira by his side, Irwin went to rescue the old Warlock. And then came the weeks of silence. 

Garret tried hard to keep himself busy, but time and again, his thoughts strayed to Awoken Hunter. He missed his amber eyes, even if they unnerved him still. So he tried harder. Took upon infamous Savathun’s Song and the victory was both hard-earned and sweet. It would be sweeter and less hard-earned, were Irwin by his side. He missed both the man and his Shadowshot when the swarm of Thralls nearly overwhelmed him. But he survived and so did Irwin. 

“Where’s that idiot?” he mumbled, quiet yet impatient. He went to Ikora, then Zavala, he visited ramen shop and even asked Banshee-44 about his favourite Hunter. He was yet to hear any useful information. 

“If you mean Irwin, I suppose „hero“ would be more fitting,” there was a touch of humour to his Ghost’s voice. 

“He almost got himself killed, for real this time. That’s no heroism.” 

“You know Garret, these words, coming from you, of all people…” warlock was pretty sure that if Eamon could roll his optics, he would. 

“Shut up.” 

“Then I won’t tell you that he’s with Cayde.” 

“I won’t even ask why you didn’t tell me that an hour ago.” 

“Then don’t. I just hope you’ll let me sleep through whatever argument you two are going to have.” 

“You can’t sleep, little light.” Garret reminded him with the barest hint of sarcasm. 

“No, but I wish I could.” 

“I wish he’d be more careful. Shame we don’t have an Ahamkara to grant us what we wish for.” 

Eamon fell silent for a short while, no doubt thinking of something wise and supportive to say. Garret wasn’t disappointed. 

“You are a Guardian, too, Garret. You know that sometimes to save something, you have to risk everything.” 

“That doesn’t make it any easier though, does it?” 

“I suppose we just have to learn to live with it.” 

“And by “we”, you really mean me.” 

There was a longer silence then. Garret slowed down and seemed almost lost in thought. Not for too long, though: “It’s just… I know he can take care of himself, but he’s just… young.” 

“Age is meaningless in the Light of the Traveler.” 

“You know what I mean.” 

“Believe in him, Garret, he needs you to.” 

“A dead man doesn’t have any use for encouragements.” 

“What if he ends up dead because he tried to prove himself to you?” 

Garret stopped. Not necessarily because of his Ghost’s words, but because he finally saw Irwin. The Awoken Hunter laughed, surely to one of Cayde’s corny jokes, and if it weren’t for his ripped and tattered armour, Garret would’ve never guessed what he’s been through those past several weeks. 

Cayde spotted the other Exo easily and gave Garret almost imperceptible nod while never breaking conversation with Irwin. Warlock waited, painfully aware that Cayde is, no doubt, praising Irwin for a job well done. Hunter Vanguard was a suicidal mission specialist after all. It only made sense his followers felt encouraged to do the same – to the dismay of the other two Vanguards as well as many Guardians. 

Cayde finished his speech with a more pronounced nod. Garret could hear what he said next: “I think someone is waiting for you.” Irwin turned around, all bright eyes, happy and alive. And Garret couldn’t find it in himself to say what he really wanted to. Instead, when the young Hunter came closer, he just hugged him tightly. 

“Welcome home,” mumbled the Exo, for once glad that his speech synthesizer cannot fully reproduce nuances of a human voice. 

“Thank you,” Irwin smiled, but suddenly, he sounded exhausted. Maybe he just kept appearances in front of his mentor. Didn’t Garret know all about that. 

“Can we go home now, or do you have any more errands to run?” 

“We can, Cayde promised to hand my report to Zavala in the morning.” 

“Yeah, as if he’s going to tell Zavala what he put you through.” 

“Point taken,” Irwin smiled. Easy and tired. 

“Let’s go home, you need to get some sleep.” 

“And wash.” 

“That, too.” Garret smiled, allowing himself a moment of relief. Irwin was home now. He was safe and more or less alright. That was enough.


	2. The Shadows

Mars. Garret hated Mars. Clovis Bray facilities. Ana Bray. He was born in the Clovis Bray Exo experiment, he knew that but to walk through long-deserted corridors, ruined labs and with all those flickering lights and half-dead computers... it didn’t exactly make him remember, but it gave him creeps. He couldn’t focus and he was making mistakes. Even Eamon noticed. 

“You’re out of shape, what’s going on?” 

“It’s this damn place. I don’t like it.” 

“You... you remember something? From before you were Guardian?” He sounded wary and it wasn’t the first time that Garret thought that maybe his Ghost knows something about his past and doesn’t want to share. He let it slide in the past, and he did it again now. 

“No, that’s Cayde’s niche.” 

“Better not dwell here longer than necessary.” 

“My thoughts exactly.” 

He should’ve known it won’t be that easy. It never was. 

“Fucking Hive!” he cursed, crouching behind a rock that shielded him from incoming fire. His robe was a burnt mess and he felt the painful stab where one projectile made it through hardened materials and into his shoulder. 

“I’ll just go all in,” he decided after a short moment even though he knew his Ghost won’t approve. 

“Garret, wait, that’s risky and you know it.” 

“Can you see any other way to take that son of a bitch down?” 

“Technically, son of Oryx, and if you would just listen to me, we would have returned a while ago to bring back help.” 

“Let’s not dwell on the past. I’ll just go, kill Nokris, and we can call it a day. Easy.” 

“Alright. I have your back, partner.” That’s why Garret liked his Ghost. Eamon was a reasonable companion most of the time, but if they were in trouble, he would shut up and just do what Garret needed him to. However stupid Warlock's plan might sound. 

Warlock readied himself, igniting the spark of Light inside him. There was a rush of adrenaline, a heady taste of power, and then he lunged from his cover and charged straight at the furious Hive Wizard. Nokris shrieked, his three eyes focusing on Guardian that looked like easy prey. Xol will be pleased. 

Garret jumped, soaring high and mighty, and let his Light flow freely through his outstretched hands. The blinding beam of electricity cut through the Darkness and crashed into Nokris. Wizard gave out one last cry that would make a mortal die of terror. Garret just thought that it was about damn time. His Light dimmed and he fell back to the ground. Exhausted, hurting but victorious. But he couldn’t rest just yet. There were still Acolytes and even some Thralls around. While usually not particularly dangerous foes, Garret was now weak and injured. 

“Not a good time for a nap, partner,” his Ghost chided, concern apparent in his voice. 

“I’m aware.” He managed to stand and take a hold of his weapon again. The machine gun would help tremendously with the rest of the enemies around, but he didn’t trust himself to aim such heavy weapon now. No, he would have to go with something else. Slowly, carefully making his way back to the surface. Thorn, hard and ever so uncomfortable in his hand, executed Hive with dark joy and endless ease. Garret didn’t particularly like the weapon, but something about it made it impossible to leave in his vault. It longed for blood, and Garret found himself both afraid and intrigued by the strange design and whispers that made his Light shiver. With Thorn, he will make it. Back to the surface and back to Earth. To Irwin. 

It took way longer than it should have, but there was also more resistance than there should’ve been. He made it in the end, but he was gasping, and there was a very prominent hole in his chest. It hurt like listening to the whispers of Hive Witches. Maybe even more. 

“Just hold on, I’ll get help,” Ghost was fretting about him, but Garret knew it’s not going to help. He could already tell the injuries are too much. 

“I hate this. When they get you but don’t manage to kill you properly,” he mumbled, leaning against a rock. To hell with the Mars, and Hive. He just wanted to go home. 

“Don’t say that. You’ll be alright.” 

“Yeah, I’ll just suffer for a while and then you will resurrect me, as always. You know what? Fuck this.” He took Hammerhead as it was lying right beside him and put the muzzle of the machine gun right under his chin. 

“You can’t be seriously considering this!” 

“I’m going to die one way or another, or does the Traveler like to watch his people suffer?” 

“I...” Ghost trailed off. 

“Right.” He pulled the trigger. 

He came back in a flash of dazzling light, filling him with warmth and happiness and peace. Sometimes he caught himself wondering if one can get addicted to dying and resurrecting. He heard stories of Guardians who did, but never quite believed them. But the nice moment has passed and was replaced by red sand and white ice. With despair and pain and years of weariness. 

“Let’s go home.” 

His Ghost was unusually silent, but Garret couldn’t bring himself to care. Not anymore.


	3. The Darkness

When the Drifter presented him with a question about his loyalty, Garret really thought it will be hard to answer. He was wrong. He achieved a great many things alongside Vanguard, but ever since that epic clusterfuck in the Prison of Elders, he wasn’t so sure he really wanted to belong to the Vanguard. They exiled Osiris for his ambition to understand the enemy so they could fight it better, they were willing to sacrifice Rasputin to Hive for fear of his power. They abandoned the Reef, offering nothing but endless cowardice and leaving more and more territories to the enemy. Garret never liked Zavala, but he did respect him. Well, not anymore. It was Guardian’s job to protect the system, and Garret felt more and more how short is the leash that Vanguard holds. 

The answer came fast and it felt right. He is no longer going to push Vanguard for more action, for pushing the Darkness back. He will just do what he feels is right. 

Irwin looked shocked and Garret guessed he couldn’t blame him. He was hoping he would get to tell him in person, but rumours were once again faster. 

“You… you defied Vanguard?! Garret!” 

No point in denying it now. All he could do was try to make Irwin understand. 

“Vanguard is a bunch of cowards. You’ve seen them after Cayde. You heard Zavala.” 

“Yet they allowed us to go. To make things right.” 

“There was nothing right about Cayde’s death! It shouldn’t have been just a few guardians in the Prison of Elders in the first place! If they weren’t so scared, Cayde could live.” 

“I know! But that gives you no right to turn away from the Light! For the sake of… Garret! Can you even see where are you heading?! That’s Thorn in your hand. You reforged Thorn!” Irwin sounded desperate, but Garret ignored his pleading gaze. 

“I didn’t reforge it. I forged it. It’s a new weapon. I’ve seen you killing Hive with their own weapons, with swords made of the darkest essence, yet I’m not whining about you becoming a monster. We do what we deem necessary to win. I’m not turning away from the Light, Vanguard is not the Light.” 

“That’s what Yor would say,” Irwin said, sad with the realization. 

“Maybe Yor wasn’t completely wrong.” 

“You are scaring me, Garret.” 

“I’m with Irwin on this one, partner.” Garret’s Ghost broke in their conversation, unable to stay silent for any longer. 

“Hear me out. Both of you. Ever since we became Guardians, we were taught that there is Light and there is Darkness. We were led to believe that Darkness is wrong, just because it’s the opposite of Light, but that is not true. Darkness comes with Light. There cannot be Darkness without Light, as Darkness without Light cannot be defined, it cannot exist. It’s the Light that gives it existence and vice versa. Those two are not enemies, they are at balance. Yet we only ever aspire to one side, without comprehending the other.” 

“Garret… you are not explaining. You are making it worse.” 

“If the universe is balanced, we should strive for that balance, too. Yet we are not.” 

“Who did you talk to? Was it the Drifter? He fell once, he walked the path you are now walking and he failed and it cost him everything. Including his dearest friend.” Now it was the Ghost talking and Garret had heard just enough. 

“Stop feeding me lies. Shin Malphur killed Drifter’s friend. Or should I call Malphur Dredgen Vale? He helped to found Shadows of Yor, and he knew, in the end, that Yor made a right choice, that we must all become stronger to win, and we can become stronger if we learn to wield Darkness. We will be more balanced and more powerful. We will also allow ourselves to be more human.” 

“But the price for that power is too steep. The danger too great. You stand for something, Garret, as all Guardians do, if you go with the Darkness, it will taint you.” 

“It’s human to have failings, it’s human to make mistakes and not pretend we are something more. The Traveler may be pure, but we are not. We all know what will happen if I fail and give in to the Darkness too much. The Man with the Golden Gun. If I slip and fall into the abyss, he will seek me out and I’ll be nothing more than a shadow on the wall, same as Dredgen Cull.” 

“Are you sure with this path, Garret? Can you walk the line that is so thin it cannot be seen? You know what awaits if you fail, but is that enough?” 

“I’m already way too deep to stop. I have glimpsed beyond the Light, I suffered and I survived. I was burnt, my Light was taken away from me, and still, I rose again, from my own ashes. Wiser for it.” 

“And what if you are wrong? What if it’s not wisdom but the temptation to corruption?” 

“I have you and Irwin to guide me through the night, to help me know the right from wrong. If I get lost, the fault will be mine alone.” 

“But that will not make it any easier, will it?” Garret recognized his own words from months ago. 

“No, but it’s the truth.”


End file.
